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Review: Goat Simulator for Android

The Ways of the Goat

When I first heard about Goat Simulator for PC, I scoffed and I laughed with all of the other people at college who decided that the game would be an absolute shocker for anyone with half a brain cell, and even too much for people without. But boy, were we wrong. Truly a case of foot in mouth. Eating our own words. Humble Pie for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The game took us all by storm, and practically changed the face of simulation games in one fell swoop. For those who don't know the history of the game, it was set on KickStarter asking for funding for what were essentially set up fees and money for development. Not only did Coffee Stain Studios exceed their target, they went on to release more and more content for the game. And now, it's on the Google Play Store, and I'm happy to say that nothing at all has changed. Everything from the PC version is here! The way you move, how you rag doll into oncoming traffic, the way the jet pack is unusable for anyone who doesn't have a mind like Stephen Hawking and 22 thumbs.

Controls are incredibly easy to use. Still don't see why I'd need a tongue axe though
Spider Goat, Spider Goat... Ah you all know the song...

And you thought flying in Microsoft Flight Simulator was hard!

Just a Bit About the Game

Quite simply, you are a goat. But not any ordinary goat. You are THE goat, the one and only goat, and the only goat that you will ever need in your life. The game is incredibly simple to play, one thumb controls your movement, the other controls the camera and the various interactions you can do, like lick people (which somehow makes them pass out), or head butt anything, Walls, traffic, people, the sky is the limit. With certain characters you unlock by collecting trophies (they're spread all over), you unlock a "POW" feature. This can be literally anything, like using the jet pack, or shooting a web out of your mouth (Spider Goat), or using your mind to make things move (Satanic Goat). To be perfectly honest, this game is the Minecraft for people looking to play a simulator. You have no real goals to achieve, apart from collect trophies and challenges like "how high can you jump" and "do 3 perfect front flips". This game isn't without it's small faults. On some devices, the lag can be quite intense, and some of the stairs and ladders to climb can be just that bit more cumbersome when you can't properly control your goat with your thumbs. But it's still a solid game nonetheless.

When I asked him to touch his toes, I didn't mean the ones on his back legs...

What could possibly go wrong?
The Conclusion

Whilst it's fair to say that there are so many fantastic simulator games on both PC and Android nowadays, it's getting so much harder to do something new and exciting which people will want more of. And what the guys at Coffee Stain Studios have managed to do here is give the people the game which they didn't realise they needed or wanted. It's a hidden market which to be perfectly honest, still hasn't been scratched at the surface. With up and coming games like Bear Simulator (not as bad as it sounds, it's more of a platformer), Grass Simulator (a genuinely off piste but strangly satisfying game) and so many more available on Steam, or on Xbox or PSN or whatever, you surely aren't going to miss out. And, if I'm perfectly honest, if they're anything like Goat Simulator, then I think we will all be happy!

Long goat is long! Long goat is long!

"Just gonna have a quick nap"

It wasn't me I promise!

Review: Goat Simulator for Android Review: Goat Simulator for Android Reviewed by Matt Large on Wednesday, March 11, 2015 Rating: 5

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