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Do you ever feel like you're just here to waste time? Or to laze around and take the day hour by hour, minute by minute? Some nights I look at Facebook, Twiiter, Youtube and just think "where is this all going?", "what is the purpose in all of this?". Quite frankly, I'm stumped, and it feel to me like a rut. In no less words, what have I accomplished? To put it quite simply, nothing.

It's the same at work, I feel like I can't do anything right. I don't hate my job, the people or the place, I hate myself. Sorry to sound too "emo" but it's just the way I feel. And it's not like I can just go straight into another job, there's nothing out there. I feel sorry for all of those people who are on JSA now, probably hating me because I got lucky and ended up with an O.K. job. That job could have gone to any other number of people currently going in and out of the Job Centre. I sometimes look at jobs on sites and see that applications for a receptionist is hitting 600 applications. Jesus! I didn't even know that there was a massive call for receptionists. Who's needing all of these people? Apparently someone is. And now with places like Honda laying people off it's just going to get worse and worse. I'm digressing from my main point here. Take your meds Matt for fucks sake.

What was my point? Oh, yeah, stuck in a rut. It just feels to me like the world is starting to press down on everyone. I reckon 5 in 10 of every reader on here feels the same as me. It's nothing to do with feeling too low, depressed or any of those things, it's a case of under-motivation. There used to be a feeling of opportunity around, but now it's all gone to seed.

It's been growing, and growing, and growing. It spreads seeds of doubt into peoples minds, it "kills the buzz", and it makes you feel like you're not any good at what you do. I'm not saying I am, far from it. I'm kind of good at this but that's about it. It's the solid feeing of under-achievement, under-motivation, being kicked when you're down which makes us all feel like something you've stepped in. It burns all of us a little bit. It's the candle with the curtain slowly being blown by the wind. One day it will ignite and then we're all fucked. 
Why? Why? Reviewed by Matt Large on Saturday, February 02, 2013 Rating: 5

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