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Instructions or Destructions?

I didn't think uselessness was all that big a deal. Until i found how poor the instructions were on some items. Instructions are usually there to help, but when it asks for 3 people to make a swivel chair, you know health and safety have stuck their noses in again. It's depressing me to see how many people will follow instructions so far that they'll go out and buy the exact tool and exact brand of tool to make it "seem more authentic". I don't know about you, but when something asks for a "9mm bracket-wrench", I find a wooden mallet comes in just as useful.

Here's an example for you. A couple of months ago, me and my parents completely overhauled my room, repainted it, sorted out new carpets, modified my old chest of drawers to use for a TV stand. But the one thing we couldn't escape from was the fact that we needed to buy new furniture. We bought a new swivel chair, and a PC desk. When we opened the box for the chair, it came with basic instructions, and a suggested team number to use when building this chair. It asked for 4 people. That's 1 for building it, 1 for telling you how to build it, 1 for criticism, and 1 for calling the ambulance when the 1 for building it has stabbed the 1 for criticism in the neck with a flat-head screwdriver. It also came with a "suggested build time" of approximately an hour. It took me doing it on my own, no word of a lie, 10 minutes to build the chair. Why would it take me an hour to build the chair. I wasn't building the chair in the quickest time possible. Unless you have no arms, or you are Karl Pilkington, then it shouldn't need to take you an hour to build the chair.

The second thing we had to build was the PC desk. This time this asked for 6 people, and a build time of 2 hours. It took me, my mum and my dad 45 minutes to build it, clean it and put it in place. Why 2 hours?! Why 6 people?! Why am I typing like this?! Why would it take us that long and need that many people? It's not the shuttle we're building. Christ, why would you even need 5 people and an hour to build something, unless it's a barn raising or something. It's pointless.

Oh, and before I forget, why did the instructions ask for a torque wrench when we didn't need it? We needed an Allan key, not car tools. Why do companies do that? They make you go out and buy pointless tools you're only going to buy once.

Instructions my ass.
Instructions or Destructions? Instructions or Destructions? Reviewed by Matt Large on Saturday, September 03, 2011 Rating: 5

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